Toddler Vocabulary Quiz

Q1. Jackson wants a "tish". What should you do?

A1. Bring him the Kleenex box. Let him pull the tissue out ALL BY HIMSELF. Hold the tissue so he can blow his nose. That's right . . . he blows his own nose. My daddy claims that he thought I would never learn to blow my nose. Apparently, I was a snot sniffer. I promise I am over it now.

Q2. A "mo-mo" has been spotted. Where are you?

A2. You are more than likely hurtling down the highway, but don't think that excuses you from your responsibility to express your extreme excitement about the motorcycle that just went whizzing past you. The little guy LOVES motorcycles. He searches them out whenever we ride in the car. He begs to check on his Grandpa's bike every evening. He can spot a Harley symbol at 50 paces. Indoctrination? Maybe just a little.

Q3. How many times will Jackson repeat no before he thinks his slow-witted parents are able to understand?

A3. Exactly 3 - no, no, NO. At this point, it is really adorable. He starts in this sweet little voice and shakes his head. We are feeling the expiration date on this brand of adorable quickly approaching.

Q4. Which is more important - the names of items or the sounds they make?

A4. Obviously the sounds, and you should give anyone who tells you otherwise the crazy look.

Q5. Jackson keeps announcing "peas" and seems to be playing air guitar on his chest. What is going on with this kid?

A5. Isn't he polite? That's please . . . and you better figure out "please, what?" soon . . . or else things could get ugly. Incidentally, he prefers his peas frozen. Umm, whatever it takes for you to choke them down, I guess.