Scanner Sunday: My other college education

In the name of all that is fun, Tiffany has brought us a blessed new holiday: Scanner Sunday. It is a day for us to stop and reflect on what we did in the days before digital cameras. Back when we had to make choices like, "am I ready for double prints?". Earlier this week, Tiffany pointed out that I know what's what when it comes to toilets. But the story of how I know this is oh so interesting. Long ago, Tiffany and I got the opportunity to be some of the very first residents of new apartment-style student housing at Texas Tech. We went to severe lengths to obtain this privilege, because opportunities like this didn't come every day. The plan was for me, Tiffany, and Joy to inhabit this lovely "town home", but when construction wasn't finished on time (HUGE shocker), we begged the Housing and Dining powers-that-be to find a way for us to live there anyway. And they did. They matched us up with this lone girl whose three other roommates had cancelled out on her and put all of us in a "flat". We all got our own rooms so we figured "sure, whatever; just as long as we don't have to go back to the dorms". It was the oddest situation I have ever been in - 2 semesters and 10 words exchanged. Anyway, T and I had our rooms on one side of the flat and we shared a bathroom. We were overjoyed that it was just the two of us - since it had been us and our sixty closest friends in the dorm sharing a bathroom the year before. We took some great classes that semester, but I am afraid that the one that may have made the biggest impact on me was the one for which we did not register - Toilet Plumbing 101. We had this toilet that would barely accept 1 ply. Here are the things that I learned that year.

• "Water-saver" sounded like a great idea, but there are just some instances where I want as much water as necessary - flushing would be number one . . . and number 2. I promise to save the Earth some other way.


• There is a way to stop an overflowing toilet. It is the water cut-off valve and it is nothing short of a minor miracle.


• Not all plungers are created equal. Using the cheap red rubber instrument is futile. Any clog worth your time will laugh at the red rubber plunger - and by laugh I mean splash a big mess on your new shoes right before a big date. The Master Plunger is the only plunger you will ever need. We seemed to like to display ours prominently.


• Pipe snake - cool in a disgusting sort of way.


• The "water-saver toilet" is mandated by law. At the time, we had some theories about the involvement of our now Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton. However, now I can't remember why we were laying the blame on her.


• Plunger skills are another thing you should look for in a life-mate. However, since mine were honed to such a superb level, J is forced to exert plumbing excellence on the hair clogs I create in the sink pipes (he is horrified).

Yeah, I learned more things that year, but it's the memories that I took away that make me who I am today - completely warped.

Me and Tiffany take on our toilet. I have the Master Plunger. T apparently has the muscles.

This is how Joy felt about the whole experience.

Not Pictured: 4th Roommate