12 Days of Tacky Christmas Day 9

Tacky Christmas Hall of Fame #9

Firebox

I happen to live in a house that is sans fireplace. When we were building the house, it was this great executive decision. The only way the builder was adding fireplaces to our floorplan was by placing it in a corner. It took up a huge amount of space and we knew that we would never use it in the heat of Texas. It is a decision that I am happy with 11/12s of the year. In that last month of the year, I do have some sadness that there is nowhere for our stockings to rest. And now that there is a little boy resident of this fire-free home, I do have some concerns as to how we will later address any Santa concerns. Do I just tell him that Santa is an expert at breaking and entering, thus risking future discussions about gun rights in the state of Texas (you only think I am kidding)? Or do we work up some elaborate plan where we leave a key under the mat to assuage any child terror, but then try to remember to bring the key in the prevent any mommy terror? This is a quandry for sure, but would it ever drive you to this . . .

Oh yes, that's right. It really is a cardboard fireplace

complete with cardboard fire.

But, wait . . . you simply must read the description.

Corrugated Fireplace

Imagine the charm of a holiday hearth without all the fuss! Our corrugated fireplace is so realistic, you can hang your stockings from it! Features rustic red bricks and a blazing yule-time log. Shipped flat with easy slot-and-tab assembly instructions. Assembled it measures 38" wide x 30" high and includes a 7" deep mantel. Made in the USA. Express shipping not available.

Does anyone else find it ironic that the fireplace is flammable?