- It has 4 wheels, 4 doors, and a steering wheel.
- It keeps me connected to the American economy via my fun-filled weekly trips to the gas station. It also allows me to improve my prayer life while I am vigilantly watching the Empty gas gauge because I have once again waited too long before heading to my fill-up appointment.
- And not be overlooked - it is MINE, free and clear!
Reasons to HATE my Chevy Equinox
- A gas tank the size of a thimble. Seriously, I think my bladder holds more. I am considering coming up with a "beer hat" for cars. You could strap two tanks to either side of the car and then run some tubes into the existing tank. Has real potential, don't you think? Of course, these days it might be safer to just paste cash on my car.
- An air conditioner that only blows cold air when the gas pedal is fully depressed. The other day the breeze outside was so much cooler than the air inside my car that I swore there was air conditioning flowing out of the ATM.
- A turning radius that requires no less than 3 open lanes and even more prayer in order to complete any maneuver. There is also an added joy in wondering which parking space you will land in. Was it the one you were aiming for or the one three spaces over . . . or both?
Which leads me to the atrocity my particular Icky-nox performed just the other day. I tried to make a quick stop for lunch so we could make it home in time for naps. Once I was in the drive-through, I realized that the menu and the intercom were at a right-angle to each other. Unfortunately, I forgot that I was driving an SUV with the heart of a schoolbus. I turned and the Equinox decided to take on a yellow post. Of course, the post won by a long shot and the Equinox and I limped off with a yellow war wound. It was humiliating.
Oh, and it was on my birthday!